1.4 Quotations (5) R.D.

“I've learned ... that people you aren't related to can take care of you, and love you, and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological." -Kathy Jane Hansen.

 

This is actually an excerpt from a very wonderful poem called “I’ve Learned” by Kathy Jane Hansen.  This line sticks out to me (there are a few others as well), because while my family is close, I have never felt that my family ties were the closest relationships I had.  When I was younger, I always felt guilty when I allowed myself to feel closer to non-family members than I was with family members.  As I grew up, this quote was there to remind me that, sometimes, families can be cold and cruel and you can’t always rely on them.  It’s also nice to have some positive reinforcement that not all relationships you invest time in are going to fall apart.

"—Even losing you ... It's evident the art of losing's not too hard to master"  -Elizabeth Bishop

 

Again, this is an excerpt from one of my favorite poems, “One Art” by Elizabeth Bishop.  This entire poem meant a lot to me when I discovered it after watching “In Her Shoes”, but it affects me even more now that I have lost a family member.  When my dad passed away, a lot of people asked me how I could stay so composed, and how I could keep from falling apart, and this poem – this line – ran through my head every time.  Loss is a part of life, and that doesn’t mean that you don’t get hurt or feel bad, but it does mean that loss is something you can overcome, and that was very important for me to hold onto while I let other people fall apart around me.

 

“... if enough people looked at you, you'd never need anybody's attention ever again. That if someday you were caught, exposed and revealed enough, then you'd never be able to hide again. There'd be no difference between your public and your private lives.” – “Choke” Chuck Palahniuk

 

This line struck a cord with me when I read the book “Choke”.  The idea that we are all striving to be noticed by other people – especially me.  Also, I am an open book.  Most of the things people heard about me in high school weren’t  “rumors” because they were true.  I always kind of felt that (in most situations) being honest was the best policy, even when other people didn’t see it that way.  But being able to walk through life without the burden of secrets or lies on your shoulders is very freeing.  I’m not going to say that I am always 100% honest – especially when lying can get me out of trouble – but for the most part, I will tell anyone anything they want to know about me, and this quote, (and this book), is a big part of why.

Cory: All I know is that we belong together. I mean, I have always been able to talk to you, and to make you laugh. And I have always, always wanted to take care of you.
Topanga: So that's what "I love you" means?
Cory: Yeah
-Boy Meets World

 

Honestly, this entire post could have been quotes from “Boy Meets World” because there is a gem of knowledge to be found in every single episode of all seven seasons.  But, this one has always kind of stuck with me because I was never very clear in my definition of love.  I don’t really believe in “soul mates” or “love at first sight”, and my parents’ relationship was much more like a business arrangement than a loving relationship.  But this definition of love is so clear, and so honest, and so attainable, I like to think of this being the most accurate description of such a complex emotion and state of being.  I feel loving someone is wanting the best for them and wanting them to be happy – regardless of all other things.

"This is why writers rarely make it far in love; we spend our time having sex with words, remembering moments better as we wrote them than we do as we lived them. We are inspired to write out of bitterness and neglect, motivated by self-loathing and an unforgiving ego.  We never worked well in comfort. Writers live better as they suffer.  Even still, I wish you were here."  -"Bad Poetry"

 

This is the ending stanza of a poem entitled “Bad Poetry” I found on DeviantArt a long time ago.  I feel this is one of the truest statements about writers, or nostalgic people in general.  While I am also guilty of living my life through writing more than through living, I do recognize that the best way to get through life is to really taste, touch, and experience life – you can always write later.  It’s a shame to think of the things I could have accomplished or just Done, had I not spent so much time in my head writing out a poem or a script of the moments going on.  Not to mention the time I could have saved by asking people what they meant instead of formulating all the possible hidden meaning or innuendos.