12/25/13
JR and DO,
It’s been a year since my last letter to you. I don’t regret
not speaking to either of you, and I wish that I thought about you less than I
do. I wish sometimes that I had never experienced this entire relatioinship,
including when I still loved you, J., and when you were one of my best
friends, D. I often wish that I could extract you both completely from my
mind.
D., after I found out that you’d been sleeping with my
fiancé for the better part of a year, I saw red. I am happy and deeply in love,
and it still makes me fiercely angry to think of my own obliviousness and your
clear betrayal. Especially after all we’d been through.
J., I wanted to tell you that you are a child, ignorant,
and clearly too blind to know when you have a good thing. I stopped loving you
a long time ago. Before we ever decided to get married. Before we moved in
together. I had convinced myself that I’d never get anyone who was really good
to me, who really loved me, so I stayed with you when I shouldn’t have. I never
told you, but when I was 16 you got me pregnant, and I lost the baby, and I
hate you for being so irresponsible because you were almost 20 and you should
have known better. That’s when I stopped loving you. The rest of the time was
an experiment in power and control and manipulation, and using you to meet my
sexual needs.
So fuck you both.
Victoria Ann
It sucks that this will probably never be on your mind. But I'm glad you feel this way? That sounds bad XD I'm glad you're angry. I know you tried to be the good Christian and forgive but I never thought that was healthy. I'm glad they're not in your life and you are able to keep yourself from them.
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